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What happens after an HEA or Happily Ever After

You’ve met the one, they get down on one knee or you do. (Or however you decide) You tie the knot and now what? That’s something the romance novels don’t go into. After the couple makes it through all the trials and decide they want to be together, that’s the end of the story. Maybe there’s an epilogue wedding or birth of a baby. If you’re lucky and the book is part of a series. You might see them in another book, but it’s only glimpses and as we all know. From the outside looking in. Everything always looks great. So what’s the problem?

We read romance to fall in love and escape our problems (whatever they may be. Mine are mostly dishes) But if you think that’s how things really happen. You’re in for a big surprise and it’s not a fun one, but more of a let down.

You see, once you find the one, get the ring and say I do. Everything isn’t sunshine and roses. You now are living your life with this person. (Which you obviously both wanted. That’s why you said I do) The problem is there will always be problems, little upsets that come up. Maybe not every day. But they will come and if you’re not prepared to handle it and them, it can be a crushing blow to your relationship. 

My husband and I experienced these. Some of them didn’t wait until after I Do. My mom passed away 3 months before our wedding. 2 years and 2 days before the anniversary of her passing. Our son was born. 12 weeks premature (At 28 weeks and 6 days). It was hard for us. Both of these things and many other “smaller” things that happen throughout any marriage weighed us down. But it didn’t break us. 

We survived and our son not only survived but is thriving. And what else is thriving is our relationship. Because a relationship is work. You have to put time and effort into it. You can’t just do a lot on the front end and then expect not to have to do anything else. Love is like a plant and it needs light (time) and water (affection) and care (communication) to grow. And that is what any marriage or relationship needs. 

Quality time together, communication and affection. We all need to continue to build intimacy when other things are going on and when we don’t feel like it or when we feel neglected and abandoned. Because not communicating how you feel to your partner will only make things worse. Romance novels don’t show these after the “I Do” ups and downs, but it’s something we should all remember. 

Nothing is every perfect, but as long as you do your best and stay connected, you can build something wonderful that will last a lifetime and be a lifeline in hard times..

What did you wish you knew about marriage?

Do you think Romance Novels portray dating and marriage or even raising kids as true to life?

What would you like to see?

Looking forward to connecting with you,

Megan