Have you ever thought about separating from your family? Meghan Markle gets a lot of flak for seeming to leave her Dad and half siblings behind. Why is that? She can’t be the first and she won’t be the last.
The way it happens is you leave or they leave. You leave because it’s toxic or maybe you aren’t getting your way. They leave because you’re toxic or they aren’t getting their way. I feel Meghan Markle is a combination.
Her Dad and half siblings in my opinion are toxic and are doing hurtful things like selling personal family pictures and letters for money and I believe to also hurt her. They are also upset that they aren’t getting what they want. They didn’t get an invite to the wedding (the dad did and then didn’t come) They are also running out of information to sell. (I also want to note she has some ex-friends who said she dumped them once she got into the royal family. I believe they are also toxic and were quick to throw her under the bus and I think she did the right thing removing them from her inner circle)
I think at the end of the day, Meghan Markle wanted to be loved by her Dad and half siblings for who she is and not what she could do for them or that she was now worthy because she was going to be part of the royal family. She wanted them to keep private information private and she wanted trust in my opinion. She wanted to trust them and trust that they wouldn’t hurt or betray her when she was no longer useful to them and they couldn’t meet that trust.
I believe it was a hard decision for her and one that she didn’t take lightly.
Why am I so invested?
Because it was a decision I had to come to. Not a complete removal as I’m not part of any royal families. But I had to come to the hard decision of my kids not knowing my Dad as well as I would have liked for them and even as well as I would have liked for me.
I’ve never had a close relationship with my Dad. My mom was both Mom and Dad for me. I did try to have a relationship with him several times and it felt like me always reaching out. Always trying to connect. Always trying to create something that couldn’t be created.
There was no way we could have the kind of relationship we could’ve had if I was younger. There was no way I could feel as close to him as I did my mom.
There was no way to fix a bond that was never made.
I had to let go of what my expectations were
I had to let go of what I saw others have
I had to let go of what I wanted for my kids.
At the end of the day, as a mom myself, I needed to protect my kids from being let down. From empty promises. From feeling as if something was wrong with them. From ever believing they are unlovable.
I am teaching them the same lessons my mom taught me and that I continue to learn. They are enough. They are worthy of love. They don’t have to do things because they are afraid of what others will say or what others think is expected of them.
They don’t have to act in the same way as others do. Especially when the experiences aren’t the same. It can be hard for those who have great relationships with both parents to understand those who might not and how this can even be an option.
For my husband (a prince to me), this would never be an option. His family and extended family dynamic is completely different from mine where each family becomes somewhat self-contained. As an only for my mom, after her death I am on my own, separate from her family and my grandma’s sisters.
My husband and his cousins and more have family group chats that aren’t only used for holidays and birthdays, to me, his dynamic looks as fun as it can be to an introvert. Who would like to have the introvert version of that, I know it isn’t possible and there is no need to upset myself more trying to push what could be, but never will be.
I hope for those who have had to do this, this helps validate your feelings and what you had to do and I hope that for those who could never understand why this is an option for some that you understand it a little more.
Have you ever felt the need to let go of toxic relationships? Were you ever the toxic one? What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?
Looking forward to connecting with you,